How To Fake a Virtual Pedicure

Yikes. I am a bad friend. I am just now reading about the virtual pedicures we are supposed to be getting. It is sad that I cannot even get a virtual pedicure. Except that mostly I cannot get a virtual pedicure, because I spend all of my free time watching Battlestar Galactica. Now THAT is pretty sad.

Anyway, here are some thoughts:

1. I do not like those housewives or the people from Jersey. I have been watching Taking the Stage on MTV which is a real-life Fame. It is more my speed.

2. For my fake virtual pedicure I would choose a color that I got at my friend Amelia's bachelorette party called Bachelorette Bash. It is a garish pink and I love it.

3. I am wearing a neutral color on my toes right now so Jon can suck it. Tee hee.

4. Karley, I am sad that you didn't like the name of your nail polish because I, of course, love it. It's a pun! It's a nail polish!

5. I had to buy a product called the Woombie because little girl keeps busting out of her swaddle and waking up at night. I HATE that it is called the Woombie but it won't keep me from trying it.

6. If I was married to Brad Pitt I would try harder not to fight with him. Just saying.

7. Now that our secret blog isn't a secret I SHOULD feel pressure to think through my posts a bit more but I don't.

8. I still hate Nickleback and recently I realize that I also hate the use of DH, DS and DD.

9. Miss you guys.

Pedicure Only

Karley, as soon as I read your post I walked out the door and down to the local nail emporium (not its real name). They just opened up recently and they are fancier than some nail places but not so fancy that you feel like a jerk getting your nails done there. Because this was a fancier place, I decided to only get a pedicure, for cost savings.

As soon as I sat down, it became clear where the extra money was going--THE FANCIEST PEDICURE CHAIRS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! Not only did they have the ubiquitous massage feature, but they also had a footrest on the other side of the bowl that could be raised and lowered at the touch of a button. And you could move the chair forward and backward using the remote. Yes, the technology was on par with those rocket ships kids ride for a dollar outside Walmart, but it was still cool.

The Color

I chose the Essie color Jam ‘n’ Jelly. It was the first real day of spring and I wanted to shout it.

Spring Aside

In addition to it being in the 50s, how else did I know it was spring? I witnessed the following things all taking place simultaneously in Fort Greene Park:

People walking with dogs

People walking with kids

Picnics

Full tennis courts

A bike clinic

A tightrope clinic (seriously)

A guitar circle

A drum circle

A weed circle (yes, surprisingly, this was separate from the aforementioned circles)

SPRING!

Back to Color

Another reason I chose a bright color is that Jon doesn’t like neutrals on toes. There is no clear explanation for this, but when he sees neutrals he goes “Ummmm….” I think he thinks that there’s no point, because your nails are already a neutral.

The Tabloid

March 2010 Vogue, with Tina Fey on the cover—listen, if it’s in a nail salon, it’s a tabloid.

I read the Tina Fey article. And, get ready for it, I am kind of getting bored of Tina Fey articles. She’s a real woman! She can’t believe she makes as much money as she does! She works really hard! She's changed the face of comedy! She lost 30 pounds and kept it off! Why does this all continue to flabbergast the world so much that we have to keep writing articles about it?

The Price

$26, pedicure only. I think with a manicure it would have been $40.

Price Aside

The most expensive pedicure I have ever seen listed is for $55. Ooh, New York prices, you might say. Actually NYC is probably the cheapest place in the country to get a mani/pedi. You can get a mani/pedi for $20-$25 most places in NYC. The most expensive place is in none other than Honeoye Falls, NY. The small town in western NY where I went to high school!

Oh Mani/Pedi I Love You

Hey -- have you guys gone to get your nails done recently? Matt took nap duty and I was able to go to favorite nail salon in Brookline yesterday. It made me want to create a virtual - we all go to get our nalons done experience.

So. . . . The Colors

I think I discovered by new favorite OPI color - Tickle My France-y. The name is so stupid I almost couldn't get it, but the color is great. It's probably been around forever and I'm behind the times, so maybe you all have been wearing it forever. It's neutral but in an edgy way. Who knew?

This is it:
Cute, right? It seems more of a risk in the bottle than it does actually on your fingers. You could wear it to a wedding or going out. And I don't think chips will be that noticeable. You should try it.

I did my toes with an Essie color -- Chinchilly. In my opinion, a very cute name. Basically it's just a medium grey. I like but I don't think I love it. It's cool, but maybe I was looking for cooler?

I don't know. I will keep you posted.





A Nail Polish Aside
I was telling Matt about the dumb nail polish name and then we started making up names (ours we not very good - Violet Femmes, Ring Around the Rose-y) and then I thought it would be funny to post a bunch of really bad, real nail polish names. Of course, there is already a blog for that. Stupid Nail Polish Names. One of the funniest ones I saw was OPI: Friar Friar Pants on Fire. Ha!

MOVING ON!

The Tabloid

I chose to peruse the March 8 issue of Star Magazine. Here are the only things I can remember from the issue:
1. Brangelina are making up by taking the family to Venice, rekindling a relationship with Jon Voight, and living in a ridiculous mansion. The article mentions how they went to Angelina's favorite gelateria and Brad bought her a lemon ice and got one of the kids "caramello" - but all of the kids are clearly enjoying gelato in the photo. What gives with only disclosing one flavor? And the source was the owner of said gelateria. I think she is pushing that caramello flavor.

2. Two Real Housewives are in the news - one I knew about and one I was shocked about. We all know that Orange County Vicki went to Mexico and made out with some 25 year old guy who must think he just won the lottery. But did you know that Top Chef Sam is now with NYC Kelly?! He got married not too long ago, but is apparently separated from that wife and now is hooking up with a Housewife! It sounds like a bad Bravo cross-promotion. Click here to see it in print! NYPost

3. Giada is now making spaghetti sauce for Target. I will buy it because I love her.

4. There is a photo of Jessica Simpson wearing a creepy facial mask from La Mer to promote her new TV show - The Price of Beauty. I can watch alot of crap, but I think I will pass on this show.

The Price
$30. Pretty average I think.

In conclusion - if we can't all get our nails done together we can at least let each other know what happens when we go separately.